Grace in the Limelight – T. Anderson’s Year

You might be interested in reading this family update from Tim Anderson, Tina’s husband. He has given me permission to post it online. (Thanks, Laurie). I have posted the letter as it is, but I did delete a letter or put a space in the children’s names just to make them less searchable. 

Family Update
by Tim Anderson on Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 8:14am

The past twelve months have been some of the most interesting in my life. My family and I have gone through quite a transformation. It’s been exciting, challenging, thought provoking and very interesting to say the least. I’m sure there are so many more words that could be used to describe the past year and all the events and changes that have gone on in my family’s lives.

More than a year ago, the abuse that my wife Tina went through years ago as a child was brought to light in the most round-about way and without any prompting on her part. In fact, if it had been up to her, it would have stayed a private matter. I knew about it within the first couple days of our first date. I’m sure that she expected me to run away scared of the scars in her life both physically and emotionally. We connected right away. In fact, we were engaged within three months and married within seven. As most know, we now have three beautiful children.

One of the biggest changes that we made a year ago was to change churches. We had decided that it was the best option for our family. This was not an easy decision and we didn’t make it foolishly or in haste. A lot of prayer went into our decision and there were many reasons for our decision. I was about to go into those reasons but that is not the purpose of this letter. I know there are a lot of speculations and rumors about us and the reasons we left. I’m sure none of them are correct because we’ve never explained fully “why” we left. I don’t know what rumors are flying around and it does not matter. We have to answer to God for our decision, not man.

We never stopped going to church. We just found a new one. We spent the summer visiting various churches. I’d say that I attended at least ten different churches in the area. It was great to see the variety of churches and the love that these believers had for God. I even took my family to an all black church in the area. We were the only white people in the crowd. They were friendly and invited us back again and I wanted to but we never made it there again.

We finally walked into a church that just felt like home. They preach God’s Word and the messages spoke to our hearts and were exactly what we needed. The service is just so uplifting and edifying of God and it’s just an excitement to go there every Sunday. It is so great to walk through church and people being excited to see you, give you a hug, and a genuinely happy with life and serving God.

They have stretched out their arms and have loved us. They didn’t know our story and it was nice to be able to sit in the audience and not worry about what the latest news article, website, or blog had to say about Tina. We have been very blessed to find a new church home. As time has gone by, we’ve shared our story. Usually, when we’re done they stop and ask if they could pray for us.

God has multiplied our friends. We made a few friends during the four and a half years that we were at our previous church but even in just the first four months at our new church we developed more friends and a deeper relationship with many of them than we had been able to with others in the past. On numerous occasions we have had people from our new church call us up and say they were thinking of us and felt that we needed prayer. Just the other day, a woman called Tina and when Tina didn’t answer, she just prayed for us and we heard it when she listened to her voicemail. It was very sweet and thoughtful.

We’ve been able to get involved in women’s Bible studies, men’s Bible studies, community outreach services, children’s programs, nursery, just to name a few. The church is involved in so many things that it’s hard not to get involved in something. The church focuses on reaching the needs of people and getting people involved in meeting those needs.

Another big change that happened was putting our children into a charter school. Szanna was about to go into second grade and Hydn into kindergarten but we just couldn’t see where we were going to come up with the tuition. Even though we had help with Szanna through Tops (which we were very thankful for), we could barely keep up with that and didn’t know how we were going to do it with two kids. Anyway, we chose a charter school based on their high academic quality and have been very pleased with their education. They are both doing so well.

Ar_a’s health is so much better. For the first couple years of her life she was always on one antibiotic after another. She was in the hospital four or five times for various reasons. This past year to year and a half she’s been able to go four to six weeks at a time without antibiotics instead of every two weeks. She does get some medicine at night but it’s preventative stuff to help her not get sick. She’s still susceptible to catching everyone’s cold but not as bad as before.

Hydn’s asthma sometimes kicks in when he’s running around too much but other than that, he’s doing great. Szanna just got her first pair of glasses. It’s amazing how much a pair of glasses improves concentration and handwriting.

To sum everything up, we are doing great!! A year ago, we were just kind of coasting through life wondering what is God’s purpose for us. I always told Tina that God was going to use her abuse to minister to others. We never in our wildest dreams ever thought that God would use us this big. This is only the beginning. We are always asking God for His direction in our lives, that His Will be done, and that everything that happens brings glory to Him.

We never wanted Tina’s story to be public. We always thought that she’d be used in the local church ministering to other abused victims. When called by the police to confirm the report of her being raped, impregnated, put up for church discipline, shipped to Colorado, baby given up for adoption, and kept away from other kids her age, she cooperated. That is all. We still never saw the magnitude of all that has happened over the past year. We’re still in shock at all that has progressed. Everything is being orchestrated by God. We don’t know or understand His ultimate purpose in all of this.

Now that Tina’s story is out, we pray that it will encourage pastors, churches, schools, universities, and any other organization of believers to examine how they will deal with a situation of abuse when it happens to their children. Unfortunately, Tina’s story is not unique and it’s not the worst. There are too many children who are being raped and beaten by “Christian” parents, pastors, teachers, and church members. Now, here’s the question. Are you going to deal with sin or sweep it under the rug? If you, as a pastor, Christian leader, teacher, layman, or any adult tries to hide it, God will bring it to light. God will deal with you. I believe that is exactly what is happening. Christians, who say they believe the Bible, are not dealing with sin properly, and God is taking care of it.

As a family, we are happy. We are content. I personally am excited to see what God is going to do in the future. I know that God has a plan for me and my family. I’m excited about the possibilities of God using a horrible situation and turning it into a situation that He can use to His glory.

How is God working in your life? I know He’s working in mine.
I want to give Him all the glory and honor and praise His Name, forever and ever.

Tim Anderson

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34 Responses

  1. Reading this is so refreshing. It is good to hear a husband speak up and it is a blessing to hear the genuine (and humble) concern in the situation. We could all learn much from the response of one so intimately involved in all of this.
    May God continue to bless the Anderson’s and their desire to glorify Him with their lives. Thank you Tim for writing this letter and thank you Bob for posting it.

  2. One of the great comforts of our faith is that one day all the wrongs which have not been righted in Christ will yet be righted.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  3. Gotta say, that is an impressive letter. He sounds reasonable and level headed. Definitely trying to make the best of a terrible situation. I respect that! Kudos to him and Tina.

    Contrast his letter and the attitude conveyed in it vs. that of JZ. It is like night and day. Tim and Tina sound like wonderful people I’d like to have over to my house and talk about the Lord. The other person . . .

    I wonder how Tina really truly feels about all of JZ’s crusade vs. the IFB. By that I mean to the extent of JZ’s open mocking of ALL things IFB and saying that Every IFB church has abuse.

    Based on Tim’s letter it’s kinda hard to see Tina and JZ that connected – they sound like two different people. Could it be that JZ is sort of using Tina for her own purposes?

    • Bond,
      For me there has seemed to have been a very different spirit between the two from the beginning (airing of 20/20). I would hate for JZ’s seemingly bitter and ungodly spirit to infect more than it already has. Her FB page seems to be less of a Christlike sanctuary and more of a breeding ground for heresy. My prayer the past week has been protection over my soul as well as those involved to not go that route as it is easy to do when your world has been so rocked.

  4. One more question, just looked at Tina Anderson’s website. In it she talks about students being at colleges and universities that are not regionally accredited. She sounds like JZ. What does accreditation have to do with “abuse?”

    • I get where you’re coming from Bond. It does seem like a disconnect at first. Unfortunately, the abuse goes beyond the physical abuse that Tina endured at the hands of EW. Most of the people who are following her have suffered immense psychological, emotional, and physical abuse as well. The whole issue of accreditation, as I understand it, is that many IFB churches look down on those in their circles who do not go to BJU or PCC or the like. If the student is pressured into going to one of these schools because of the psychological control that the church exerts on them, they are wasting their money if they wish to have an accredited degree. The abuse is much, much more than sexual.

    • bond,

      I’m not sure what point exactly you are trying to make, on the one hand you say that Tina is someone who (unlike JZ ) you could see having dinner with and discussion, and in the very next post you say the complete opposite that she is just like JZ. Which completly invalidates your previsou stament…

      Casting doubts on a persons character because you dont believe in the same values that they do cannot hardly be a “christian” way of living? Is it? I dont know, but It seems to me that why would I believe you if you attack someones character (even if it is in the passive aggresive way that you display here), with only your opinion to back you up?

      Frankly, from what I can see, JZ is an open book, with nothing to hide. THAT is more reliable and believable than what I have read here in your comments.

    • bond, if you’re referring to the “TA Foundation,” it is my impression that the website is actually run by JZ not TA. I may be wrong in that impressino. Nothing on the website indicates who is managing the foundation, but the verbiage is similar to what JZ says elsewhere; and the foundation is set in Portland, where the Zs now live. JZ has focused on accreditation as an issue because of her husband’s experience in not being able to get the job he wanted due to pursuing degrees from unaccredited institutions. Elsewhere, she has criticized IFB for allowing institutions to be unaccredited, thereby wasting students’ time and money. Sorry to be off-topic but hope this helps answer your question.

      Tim, thank you for sharing the grace that God has given your family. Your family’s response is an encouragement to my weary heart. :) May God bless and keep you.

      • I think this is the only comment I’ve left on this site about this entire topic. I cannot describe my surprise to come across Jocelyn’s FB page today and discover that my post was a topic of conversation there. I meant the above post as “my impression,” but I need to correct both my impression and my post. Jocelyn stated on her FB page that she and Tina are in complete agreement about the Tina Anderson Foundation website. They stand together on that topic, contrary to what I perceived and stated above.

        As for accreditation, what I did not realize from any of Jocelyn’s comments elsewhere is that her primary concern, as stated on FB, is not about Joe’s (or anyone else’s) eligibility for employment. Rather, she believes that the abuse in IFBism is due to its education. Her focus on accreditation is due to her belief that pastors in IFBism are not being trained to handle abuse victims appropriately and that their poor teaching/preaching is due to their poor education. She believes that accredited institutions would do a better job of training ministry leaders, especially in the area of preventing and responding to abuse.

        I’m sorry I misrepresented the founders of the TAF and its website and that I misunderstood Jocelyn’s position on accreditation. I should just have stayed away from this discussion.

        Today, three passages have been on my mind: Romans 14:19, Acts 5 & Gamaliel’s counsel to the Jews, and Galatians 6:9. None of the threads on this topic here, or at SI, or on FB or anywhere else I’ve seen are helping me to accomplish Rom. 14:19 in my life; my heart is so weary that I am struggling to honor Gal. 6:9. So I fall back to Acts 5 and leave it in the hands of God. I appreciate Tim’s letter, posted here, more than I can say. But I have to be done following any of these threads, for the sake of my own spiritual health. May God give us all wisdom to speak truth in a way that exalts Jesus Christ.

      • Melinda, thanks for the clarification. Your middle paragraph (second post) is the clearest articulation of that position I’ve seen to date (clearer, by far, I daresay, than its loudest advocates have been).

        I’m sorry it’s worn you out. Me too. It took me being unfriended and blocked by some folks on facebook to find the quiet to think properly about the situation and try to make sense of it. I strongly suggest the “hide” button before completely giving up. By trying to be “nice,” and “reasonable,” and “accommodating,” I was allowing those who were determined not to be any of those things to dominate the conversation and define the sides. That’s a disservice to the topic.

  5. Tim,

    I am so glad you took the time to write this. You said that God would use Tinas abuse to minister to others. I would like to stand up and say thank you Tina for letting God to use you to minister to me.

    This situation has challenged my thinking. As I have read and attempted to place myself “in the shoes” of someone like Chuck Phelps I have come to realize that if I had handled Tinas case I would have likely done it as Chuck did. I say this to my shame.

    To some I think they also realize they may have handled it much the same way and are refusing to see how wrong that thinking is.

    So add me to the list of ones that has been marked and changed by Tinas story. God has used your family to strengthen the church.

    For those that would be stiff-necked  I can only pray, but to those who will listen learn and grow through this I can be encouraged.

    By the way, I love to hear the normalness that shines through in your letter.

    Thank You,

    Terry Riegel

  6. But they are in a church that uses CCM


    Hey Terry .. thanks for the letter. God bless you and Tina and your family!

  7. Should have been – Hey Tim!

  8. [...] Grace in the Limelight [...]

  9. Bob, thanks for making these insightful sources and your commentary available.

  10. Tim & Tina, John and I have been praying for you, since we heard of your trials. It is good to hear, from you, how well you are all doing, and we will continue to pray for you. We have missed your cheerful faces.

    To those who want to discuss off-topic, can you please refrain from that on this post? After all, Tim didn’t have to write this letter & Bob didn’t have to post it. Arguments, speculation, and pulling in information from other places certainly doesn’t seem edifying in this situation.

  11. Is ANYONE going to address the HUGE elephant in the room? I’ve heard of the Anderson case since last summer and obviously now with the news show, but it wasn’t until the last few days that I even heard of this other situation with the well known person running a website. I found out about that situation from FFF, which I consider to be a joke of a website and not very credible. It’s full of jokers, comedians, frauds and mentally unstable people who are unhappy because someone in a baptist church offended them 21 years ago and they still can’t get over it. The site is full of cynics who do nothing but joke with each other and make cutting remarks to each other about fundamentalists. But even saying that, I think there is a grain of truth in the site. I’m not sure whom to believe. Either this woman is a complete nutjob beyond ANY degree of sanity who is making up these completely bizarre stories as a way of getting back at the IFB because they went “contemporary” and people talked about it, or……..the allegations are true. The stories are SO far beyond the realm of normalcy that you’d think this woman was some perverted, slimy porn producer thinking of the most bizarre story lines to come up with as a porn movie. I’m not trying to be salacious, but I don’t know what else to say.
    I’m still seeing comments about bitterness and vitriol coming from that website. I would agree with that, that the site is over the top and seems to be on an out of control, bitter vendetta.. Except, if these stories actually are true, I can understand it.

    I still have yet to see any response to this woman about her accusations, other than she’s a mentally unstable nutjob who is out of her mind. I’ve got to be honest with you: I think the woman might be telling the truth, and I suspect I’m not alone in thinking this. I think she deserves a response other than to be written off as a bitter woman with a chip on her shoulder.

    Let me finish by saying that we are ALL sinners and depraved. I know that I would welcome any repentance and admission by any of the accused, if there really is any truth to it. I would feel guilty for the rest of my life if I portrayed these people as hopeless sinners. If they really did do the things they are accused of and repented of it, I know that I would without a doubt welcome their repentance and accept it with loving humility! I’ve worked with many families with secrets and I’ve seen and heard the worst. If the allegations are true, unfortunately they would not be a completely unique situation. The lie of Satan is to accuse people. He makes you think that no one has ever done anything as bad as you have and you’re the only one in the world who’s ever thought or committed certain acts. Again, we are all depraved. Isolation is a tool of the enemy. NO ONE should be afraid to admit sin and seek forgiveness because a true Christian will lovingly always accept true repentance! No matter the sin!

  12. Rebekah – stunning. Absolutely stunning.

  13. Rebeka, I’m assuming you’re playing the role of the troll, or the jester, or the cynic? You can’t be serious, can you?

    • serious about what?
      I’m not being a troll, jester, or cynic, I’m calling on you to be kind and gracious. Yes, we are all sinners, and it is God who accepts our repentance and forgives us graciously, mercifully, and lovingly.
      A post about the family of Tim and Tina Anderson isn’t the place for anyone to be ranting about Tina being a nutjob.
      This smearing is the very reason I tend to avoid commenting on other’s blogs, or even comments, but when you call Tina a nutjob for whatever reason you have, I cannot remain silent.

  14. This is my last post on this thread. I don’t want to say anything out of unrighteous anger, and knowing myself, I am prone to easily do that here. I appreciate what I am sure is your sincere concern for the best and don’t mean to be unkind. But Rebeka, you completely astound me how you can just pretend something doesn’t exist and just whisk it away by conveniently sweeping it under the rug. I don’t mean to break the bubble, but this story is ALL over the internet and many are wondering why the lack of response. Cliches are often not the most effective means of communication, but, the silence is deafening. Everything will eventually be brought under light. Either horrible bitterness which manifests itself in contemptible lies and accusations will be brought to light, or sinful behavior will be brought to light.

    My last response is to implore all parties to be honest with yourselves, others, and God. NOTHING is beyond forgiveness. And that includes lies and bitterness and sexual immorality. We are all sinners and have a deceitful heart. The wonderful news is that God forgives a repentant heart, NO MATTER the sin! This includes me as much as anyone involved in this story.

  15. Ahhh…..NOW I get it…….Rebeka, I was not even referring to Tina at all. I know I said I wasn’t going to say anything more, but I need to correct any misunderstanding.

    The 20/20 story brought to light another story totally unrelated to the specific Anderson story, but related in the sense that it deals with abuse. That’s what I was referring to. My comments had nothing to do with the Anderson story, other than it’s a similar story that was brought to light by ABC in the same piece. Those who know what I’m talking about know, and those who don’t, don’t. I’ll just leave it at that. I sincerely apologize for creating misunderstandings.

    • I’m sorry I felt you were being ungracious, please forgive me for misunderstanding you.
      The only reason I read this post from Bob Bixby is because someone I know sent me a link, knowing my husband and I have been praying for the Andersons.
      I don’t really know about all of the gossip going on, on websites and blogs, no one involved answers to me, I cannot provide any information about other people’s situations, there is nothing I can do to resolve these problems in other’s homes, churches, etc.; but, I can pray & I care.

  16. “I’ve got to be honest with you: I think the woman might be telling the truth, and I suspect I’m not alone in thinking this. I think she deserves a response other than to be written off as a bitter woman with a chip on her shoulder.”

    EXACTLY. Jocelyn has been an open book, because she’s telling the truth. When you have nothing to hide, because it’s been taken away in the courts (privacy, that is), it’s really easy. She’s been saying the same thing for years, and everything I’ve heard her say about her situation has been proven accurate. No matter how farfetched. She’s been to hell and back, and is making a difference to thousands of hurting people. You think she sounds angry? Well, if innocents are being hurt, shouldn’t we all be? One tends to start yelling when no one will listen. Thankfully, 20/20 producers did listen.

    • @Beth, one the one hand I hear what you are saying. I have no reason to believe she wasn’t abused. And, believe it or not I as someone who has been apart of the IFB for all my life do actually see all of the many problems and issues within the movement.

      But can she say or do whatever she wants, no matter how silly or outrageous it is, and then wonder why she isn’t being taken seriously by everyone? (Just an honest question. :-)!

    • Sorry, one more comment, JZ’s approach to the IFB is like wanting to take care of the abuse situations within the Catholic church by throwing Every priest in jail and then wiping her hands and saying, “See, I told you. There IS abuse in the Catholic church, but now we’ve taken care of it.” Well, sure, the abuse in that church has been taken care of, but what about all of the innocent people that are now in jail with their reputations destroyed? You speak of the innocents being hurt, YES definitely we need to do all we can to protect them without question and to confront and prosecute the abusers. I agree with you! But is a scorched earth or carpet bombing method of doing that even if it hurts the many, many non-abuser IFB pastors and people, the best way to get those results?

  17. Wow. Tim Anderson really blessed me with this letter; I’m very, very impressed at what he wrote. I’m so glad to see that he and Tina are working through everything as well as they are, and hope that God continues to bless their lives in the middle of such unspeakable tragedy.

    9 We have thought on your steadfast love, O God,
    in the midst of your temple.
    10 As your name, O God,
    so your praise reaches to the ends of the earth.
    Your right hand is filled with righteousness.
    11 Let Mount Zion be glad!
    Let the daughters of Judah rejoice
    because of your judgments!

    12 Walk about Zion, go around her,
    number her towers,
    13 consider well her ramparts,
    go through her citadels,
    that you may tell the next generation
    14 that this is God,
    our God forever and ever.
    He will guide us forever.”
    -Ps 48:9-14

  18. Fayeb, your comments are pretty well on-target. You said,

    “I think there is a grain of truth in the site. I’m not sure whom to believe. Either this woman is a complete nutjob beyond ANY degree of sanity who is making up these completely bizarre stories as a way of getting back at the IFB because they went “contemporary” and people talked about it, or……..the allegations are true.”

    If you were referencing Jocelyn’s fb site (Rebekah seemed a little confused at first), then I agree with your assessment. Please correct me if you were referring to some other site.

    What you must realize about her (Jocelyn) is that there is a great deal of truth in what she says. The problem is that she takes the truth to such an extreme that she eventually loses her credibility.

    Here’s a perfect example. She mentioned on the 20/20 special that many IFB families are encouraged to discipline their children with a form of spanking that’s too harsh. True enough. If she would leave it alone at that point, she’d be fine (and would make a solid case, by the way). But she’s not content to stop there. She feels compelled to mention the Bible verse about the “blueness of the wound” as a proof text commonly used in IFB circles. Problem is, no one in IFB circles uses that verse in that context as an admonition to spank severely (except for perhaps Schaap and his ilk who aren’t taken seriously in mainline IFB). Then, as if she’s smelling blood, Jocelyn goes on to say that some pastors even encourage spanking of 2-week-old infants. I can still see Vargas’ face contort in horror at the “revelation” of such scandal. Only one problem: it just ain’t true (pardon my grammar). Again, there might be one person in a million who has ever dared to suggest such hogwash in IFB circles.

    Without taking a moment to relate other similar incidents, suffice to say that Jocelyn “wields the pen” rather recklessly as a matter of habit. Her typical progression goes like this: start with the truth, get the story going, then finish with the ridiculous. She leaves the reader/listener at a loss for where the truth and her own blind accusations meet. But make no mistake, her outlandish allegations about the “cult of the IFB” are just as irresponsible as the ignoring of bona fide abuse cases. Should she be angry? Absolutely. But she should at least have the decency to let us off the the nut train at the sanity station.

    She definitely has a point to make, and I trust everyone in IFB will listen. There is a critically wounded patient on the table who needs to be wheeled into the operating room immediately. But the future Dr. Jocelyn is performing delicate surgery with a sledgehammer right now, and anyone with common sense will be looking for a second opinion.

    Here’s hoping she’ll settle down a bit and listen to people “on the inside” who’d like to have a rational conversation with her about how to solve these problems. But first she’ll have to realize that HER way isn’t the ONLY way. And if we’re lucky, we might just stumble onto the RIGHT way.

    • @Filbert, well stated!

      I can think of numerous ways that would allow Jocelyn to pursue her passion about rooting out abuse, but in a much, much more constructive manner. I mean, do we take seriously the person who says she was abused, OR, do we take seriously the person who says that ALL IFB churches are abusive and makes other wild and outrageous unproven claims, i.e. what you describe above?

    • “She mentioned on the 20/20 special that many IFB families are encouraged to discipline their children with a form of spanking that’s too harsh. True enough. If she would leave it alone at that point, she’d be fine (and would make a solid case, by the way). But she’s not content to stop there. She feels compelled to mention the Bible verse about the “blueness of the wound” as a proof text commonly used in IFB circles. Problem is, no one in IFB circles uses that verse in that context as an admonition to spank severely (except for perhaps Schaap and his ilk who aren’t taken seriously in mainline IFB). Then, as if she’s smelling blood, Jocelyn goes on to say that some pastors even encourage spanking of 2-week-old infants. I can still see Vargas’ face contort in horror at the “revelation” of such scandal. Only one problem: it just ain’t true (pardon my grammar). Again, there might be one person in a million who has ever dared to suggest such hogwash in IFB circles.”

      I wish that were a case. I attended a well-known, IFB, BJU-linked church in Greenville, SC and was given not one, but two, copies of a book that used these very verses to promote this type of what they call child “discipline.” Similarly, in a teaching session for young mothers at that passage was mentioned.

      Additionally, I know of several linked to the same circle of IFB who believe they need to spank their 6-month and 7-month infants for crying at night, which is almost as heinous as spanking a 2-week-old. The family (that told me the next day they spanked their 7-month son for crying at night) is in the ministry, as a senior pastor, though I don’t know that he’s yet preached this in a sermon.

      These teachings are not as isolated as we wish, I fear. Yes, I believe many IFB pastors and leadership would thankfully speak out about these teaching and see them as wrong and abusive; but they are certainly prevalent in many places.

      And there are more recent accounts from IFB leadership, pastors, and/or missionaries that I am aware of, but will not go into because I don’t know that publicly calling them out (here, at least) would be best.

      Those who take other Proverbs passages as literal commands to beat young children with rods almost have to interpret those passages (“blueness of a wound”) as such if they are going to be consistent with their hermeneutical rubric (albeit, an incorrect hermeneutic of Proverbs).

  19. What a refreshing letter from Tina’s husband. It’s great to see God’s Grace at work in the lives of men and women!

  20. [...] Bixby shares an update from Tina Anderson’s husband. Tina, as you may remember, was featured on the 20/20 story about abuse in some IFB [...]

  21. I know I said I wasn’t going to comment any more, but this actually could be a decent, interactive conversation. I realize that this person is wielding quite a wide campaign and it may seem over the top and beyond the realm of normalcy and taken too far. But when I think that, then I think back to her accusations. According to her, the abuse was by more than one person in the same family – over a period of years! It gets dangerous to start comparing situation A with situation B because there’s a possible tendency to downplay one and say “it’s not so bad as compared to ….” and I don’t want to do that. If these allegations are true, then we can’t say that this was a one time incident handled poorly. This was an ongoing thing – for years! Because of that, I’m willing to cut her some slack. I think that many of us would have a skewed view of things if we were taught one thing in public, but secretly saw the exact opposite of that, for years, in secret.

    I feel uncomfortable talking about this because most of the people she accuses are alive and well and probably even reading this board. I think one of the reasons she’s on such a campaign is because she’s seen things that took place for quite some time that were never brought to light until years later. It wasn’t a one time event that she went through. Again, it’s hard to say one thing is “worse” or “better” than the other, but I think you know what I mean. When something happened for years, and when there is still denial even when it’s brought to light and accusations of “liar,” that almost makes it worse! I would think it would make a person even more frustrated that even when the secret is finally out, all that happens is denial and coverup! Perhaps that’s as frustrating or more so than any other part of it! I can easily see how in that case a person may very well go what we would call overboard.

    Again, I would feel horrible if I called this the unpardonable sin and if I were one to help make people even more reluctant to be honest. This is NOT the unpardonable sin. Like I said previously, I unfortunately have worked with families with just similar secrets. The lie of Satan is to keep all of us isolated. We think we are the only ones who’ve ever done something and we are therefore afraid to come forward. Let me assure you that this is not an isolated case. All true Christians would humbly and lovingly rejoice and welcome repentance and honesty! We are all sinners and we ALL need God’s grace and mercy and forgiveness.

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